'Twas the Night Before Christmas
'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house,There were bottles and butts left around by some louse.And the best fifth I'd hidden by the chimney with care,had been snatched by some bum who'd found it right there.My pals, guy's and gal's, had been poured in their beds,to wake in the morning with hung over heads.My mouth, full of cotton, dropped down with a snap,because I was dying for just one more nightcap.When through the south window there came such a yell,that I sprang to my feet to see just what the hell...And what to my bloodshot eyes should I see,but eight drunken reindeer caught up in a tree.Way in 'mongst the branches was a man with a sleigh,and I saw it was Santa quite oiled and gay.Staggering nearer, those eight reindeer came,as he belched and he hiccoughed and he called them by name:"On Whiskey! On Vodka! We ain't got all night.You too, Gin and Brandy, now do it up right!Clamber on up t' the roof, get the hell off this wall,get going you rummies, we've still a long haul!"So up on to the roof went the reindeer and sleigh,But a tree branch hit Santa before he could sway,And then to my ears like the roll of a barrel,came a helluva noise that was no Christmas carol.As I pulled in my head and I cocked a sharp ear,down the chimney he plunged landing smack on his rear.He was dressed all in red with white fur for the trim,and the way that he swayed said he was tanked to the brim.The sack on his back held nothing but booze,and the breath that he blew nearly put me to snooze.He was both plump and chubby and though he tried to stand right,he couldn't fool me - he was high as a kite!He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,and missed half the stockings, that plastered old jerk.Then putting his thumb to the end of his nose,he fluttered his fingers as he quoted his prose.A spring for his sleigh at so hasty a pace,that he tripped on a shingle and slid down on his face.But I heard him exclaim as he passed out of sight,"Merry Christmas you lushes, now really get tight
Sometimes you eat the bear. Sometimes the bear eats you.
LOL, not quite the way I remembered it.....
Remember... Where ever you go, there you are...
haha, i was wondering why all my booze was gone instead of the milk and cookies :D